I Don't Feel Like It

Today I went to a flying trapeze class! Long ago, I bought a groupon and it was about to expire, so this week I finally got around to registering for class. This morning, as I was driving there, I was wondering why I was doing it.  The impulse I had felt way back when, when the offer arrived in my inbox, was long gone and I was definitely having an “I don’t feel like it” moment. I was going, but I wasn’t really feeling too excited and kind of thinking I’d rather just laze around at home.

And then (of course), it was totally fun.

I think I should just always be on the lookout for “I don’t feel like it.” Now, I was just thinking of this on the way home from the class today, so I haven’t done a full investigation. I’m not exactly sure what the whole process is and what’s going on, but I have reason to believe that when I’m hearing that kind of whiny voice in my head saying “I don’t feel like it,” at the very least, I need to at least check it out, try to see what’s happening. I suspect that a lot of the time it doesn’t have much to do with what I do or don’t want to do, but maybe has more to do with resistance or conditioned mind trying to talk me out of something. “I don’t feel like it” seems like it is more of a mental conversation than an actual feeling, at least some of the time. There is definitely more looking to do here (svadhyaya or self-study). I’m sure I’ll have another opportunity soon—maybe when it’s time to vacuum!