Last night, I had my third start on a new sweater and I think this one might stick. Ripping things out is an inherent part of knitting. If you don’t have the stomach for it, then you’ll probably stick to scarves or find another hobby. It has gotten easier for me, but it is still hard. This time, for instance, I had a couple days in on the back of this sweater and had to admit to myself (satya) that I didn’t really like the stitch that was the main stitch of the sweater (too bumpy). Even though I had spent a good little chunk of time on it, I was able to step back and see that the amount of time spent compared to the amount of time left was quite small and weeks from now those couple of days would be forgotten. So I unraveled it and wound the yarn back up on the skein.
Very early in my adult knitting career, I was knitting a hat and was probably over half done when it became clear that it was too small. I was debating about whether to rip a bunch out and make it bigger or keep going and my husband said something like, “Don’t you want a hat that fits?” Ah, clarity. I think of that a lot when I am at that point of deciding whether to take something apart.
So this particular knitting lesson seems to be about satya, that willingness to be in reality, and also vairagya, non-attachment. I get so attached to the work that I have done, it is hard to let it go, even in the face of seeing that it is not working out. And because I do that with knitting, I know that I also do it with other things. Sure enough. Right now, I feel like I am in the process of seeing how to make a life that fits. Which means being willing to stop continuing on with the things that aren’t working and either re-fitting them or trying something new. Very exciting—I’m looking forward to seeing what I will make.
