Have I written about swatches?
(No, not the watches that were so cool when I was in high school, I’m talking
about knitting swatches). In knitting, before you start a project, you are
supposed to knit a swatch so you can make sure you are using the right size
needle and that yarn you are using is right. In order for the swatch to be very
useful, it really needs to be a certain size (they usually recommend 4 by 4
inches). And I almost never knit one that big because I am in a hurry to get to
the project.
For me, this is a really great
example of process vs. outcome, or, as we talk about in the therapy world,
process vs. content. Knitting the swatch is an important part of the process of knitting something, it’s part
of how you end up with the finished
product that you want, even though the swatch itself won’t be part of the item.
I cannot tell you how many times I have knit my little mini-swatch and said,
“OK, that’s good enough” and started the project only to find out however many
hours later that my gauge (number of stitches per inch) is not what I thought. It just happened to me a couple of days ago
and it means starting over.
Most translations of Sutra 1.15
talk about mastery over craving for objects seen or heard. Drshtanushravika
vishaya vitrshnasya vashikara samjna vairagyam (click here to hear it). There were a couple of things
that were interesting to me when I looked up the words in the dictionary.
First, vitrshnasya means “free from desire or content”—the word content caught
my attention because it made me think of the difference between process and
content. Second, vashikara means “fascinating, attracting, cause of attraction,
subduing, subjugation.” (I love these words that have seemingly opposite
meanings, which happens a lot in Sanskrit).
Vairagya is non-attachment and I
think it is one of the commonly misunderstood concepts in yoga. We take it to mean
that we should be totally detached, unaffected, not interested in anything, not
wanting or feeling anything—we think that is the way to be peaceful, calm and
enlightened. I personally don’t think the goal of yoga is to stop being human,
which is what that sounds like to me.
So how do we remain human and not
be at the mercy of our reactions to every person, situation or experience? We
have feelings, likes and dislikes, desires and all the rest, and non-attachment
is when we can take one step back from them. We have our human experience and we get a little perspective on it.
One of the ways to do this is to focus on process instead of content.
I have a desire, for instance, to
start knitting the “real project” instead of the swatch. If I put my attention
on the content, I will either hurry up with the swatch or tell myself I
shouldn’t feel that way and try to convince myself with rational explanations
what to do. The alternative would be to become interested in the desire itself:
how does it arise? what does it feel like? what thoughts come with it? how long
does it last? what happens if I follow it? what happens if I don’t follow it? If
I get to know how desire works, then, as this sutra explains, I’ll have mastery
over it (which doesn’t mean I won’t experience it, but that it won’t control
me) vs. if I focus on the object of desire, then I think I’ll be satisfied when
I get it, but then there is just the next thing and the next thing and I am
being mastered.
Rather than fostering disinterest
as we might think, non-attachment actually feeds curiosity. Life becomes
interesting and fun when we put our attention not on what happens but how it
happens. I might find myself less focused on getting things right and awaiting
the surprise of what might happen next. Swami Venkatesananda talks about
this as turning the “compulsive and overpowering craving for objects seen and
heard of” on itself—developing an “intense and consuming quest” in
understanding the craving itself.
This can be done with any
experience, not just desire or craving. I’ve been having a lot of anxiety
lately and I want to attach it to something—I look around to see what is making
me anxious so that I can solve it. But it just keeps grabbing on to the next
thing. What seems more helpful is looking at the anxiety itself, feeling the
sensations and simply asking the question, “What is this?” (not answering that
question, just asking it). Attaching to that inquiry (process) instead of
attaching to getting rid of the anxiety (outcome or content) makes it easier
for me to be okay no matter what happens. No wonder vairagya is an important
part of yoga!
