Are You a Good Witch or a Bad Witch?

Sutra 1.5 says vrttayah pancatayah klishtaklishtah which mean something like, “There are five kinds of fluctuations of the mind, which can be either painful or not painful.” Klishta comes from the same root as klesha for you wordy geeks out there. Now, I find it pretty fascinating that Patanjali has narrowed down all of our mental activity into five types, but since all of the next sutras are about those and he hasn’t named them yet, there’s not much to say about that here besides “really?”

So what we’re left with is the klishtaklishtah part. Any of these movements of the mind can be problematic or not problematic. This seems important. All of our mental activities fit into five categories and none of these categories is inherently good or bad. I will only speak for myself when I say that the first thing my mind wants to do with a list of five categories is figure out which ones are good and which ones are bad. But once again, I am out of luck. Things are more complex than that. So, for instance, jumping ahead, the first type of vrtti is pramana, which can be thought of as valid or correct knowledge, We might think this is the “right” mind movement, but we also all know it can be painful (like seeing the truth about ourselves or other people). And the second type is misperception, which is often the best we can do and therefore isn’t exactly problematic in those situations. Each type of mind movement has a part to play at certain times.

So this sutra makes me think about how everything, everyone has the potential for both good and bad, to contribute and to detract, to connect and to disconnect, to inspire and to discourage, to grow and to stagnate. I know this isn’t exactly what Patanjali was talking about, but that is what is occurring to me today. What just popped into my head for the title of this post is the line from The Wizard of Oz—"Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" If you haven't seen or read Wicked, it has the best answer to that question, which is both (or neither). It's complicated.

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Elections and the Mindstuff

I have talked to a number of people who said they got kind of obsessed with the elections and watching the news and keeping track of what was going on.  They all seemed to be relieved the elections were over.  This is the sort of situation where our sense of who we are gets blurry. Of course, the elections are important and they impact our lives in a real way . . . sort of. I say sort of because it’s not like the day of the election or even the inauguration, anything in my actual life changes. My day will be very much like the day before—any changes are pretty small and it would be hard to pin them on the president, congress, governor or any of the other folks that I don’t even personally know. Now, I want to be clear that I am NOT saying that we should all be apathetic because none of it matters. What I am saying is that it is easy to lose perspective on who we are and what’s urgent and where to focus our energy (elections and election coverage are just one example of this).

When my attention keeps going to a certain person, topic, situation, when my mind fluctuations are all churned up, I get confused. The last sutra said that when the mind is calm, the seer resides in his/her own true nature. This next sutra (1.4 vrtti sarupyam itaratra) says, “Otherwise, s/he assumes the form of the mind fluctuations.” I think part of how this works is that if I am able to direct my mind where I want it to go (i.e., choose where to focus my attention), then I realize that I am not my mind or thoughts—I am operating them. If I don’t have any ability to control my thoughts or attention, then they are running the show and I don’t have any sense of separation from them. In fact, most of us don’t like the idea of not being the one in charge, so I probably want to believe I am my mind, so that I can think I am in charge instead of being pulled around like a dog on a leash. 

If I can choose to watch the election coverage or not watch the election coverage, then I have at least an inkling that I am separate from the election coverage. If I am sucked into it over and over and all of my thoughts are about the election, then it becomes a bigger and bigger part of my reality and I have a harder time experiencing my self as something beyond that. I feel like I can hear people bristling up on this saying something like, “But the elections are really important.” Yes, the elections are important. I usually like to choose more mundane examples, but this is what I’ve been thinking about. You can try it with something else, if that seems easier. See what is happening for you with your sense of who you are in relationship to your thoughts and how much you are able to direct them.  Let me know.

True Nature

So, the next sutra (1.3) is tada drashtuh svarupe avasthanam and translates as “Then the seer abides in his own true nature.” “Then” is referring to the last sutra—when the mind fluctuations are restrained or directed, then we are able to experience our true nature. As I started to reflect on this sutra, I was also getting ready to go on a 10-day Vedic chant immersion. I was predicting that this would be a good opportunity to have some moments of experiencing my true nature. These moments weren’t really as transcendent and enlightened as I might have liked, but that’s not really how I roll (thus the name of the blog, “Keepin’ It Real.”)

I left my house at around 4:20am on a Friday to travel to Santa Fe, so by the time I went to bed at something like 9pm, I was very tired. But then I didn’t really fall asleep. What I noticed was how completely content I was lying there most of the night. My body was happy to be lying down and my mind was quiet. I was feeling very restful and easeful even though I was quite awake. Of course, at some point, there was a thought, “I am so peaceful right now,” which was enough to take me out of the experience and turn it into something. Then I wasn’t feeling as true naturish.

I have heard many times “Peace (or love, joy, compassion, etc.) is what is there when you aren’t doing something else.” I think that’s what this sutra is about. That peace is always there, we are just distracted by all of the activity of our minds and our lives that we don’t feel it.

As the chant training went on, I continued to be very tired every night. There are lots of times that I am tired, but I do more stuff anyway—check email, work, read, watch tv—all of which further stimulate me. But last week, I mostly just went to bed (maybe knitting a few rows first). This also seems connected to this sutra—the lack of compulsion toward more activity, the ability to just be okay with stillness (i.e., not following the following the chittavrttis and letting them make more). There is some part of me that doesn’t need to be doing or accomplishing anything. I think sometimes the mistake we spiritual types make is thinking that the aim then is not to do anything, to get to some quiet place where I am just sitting there all the time. It seems to me that when we are first getting to know this true nature part of ourselves, less activity is helpful, but that eventually, we can be connected to that part even while we are going about the business of life. And, in fact, we are here to live life, not to side-step it. The question is:  how do we participate fully in life and maintain some sense that we are something beyond the actions, thoughts and outcomes? How do we let our lives be directed by our true nature instead of having our lives be a process only of conditioned mind?

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