Telling the Truth

Someone this week (not a client) says to me, “I’m going to tell you something I’ve never told anyone.” Even when I type the words, I can feel it in my body, the feeling that goes with those words, feeling contracted and small and like you want to hide because there is something so terrible that you just can’t even face it yourself let alone reveal it to anyone. It’s shame that makes us hide things. And it is so powerful. It keeps us locked up. And alone.

So then this person says it, tells me the hidden thing, the secret that’s been ruining their life. And in one moment, so much of the power this thing had is just zapped away. Even though I was on the receiving end, it was a huge reminder for me of how shame works. I could feel the shift in the person, in me, in the relationship between us and the space around us. Satya (truth) is the antidote to shame—shine the light into the darkness and then it’s not dark anymore.

One of my favorite movie scenes of all time is from, believe it or not, 8 Mile, the Eminem movie that came out many years ago. It’s at the end of the movie and since it’s an old movie I won’t worry about spoiling it for you. Also, this is just how I remember it. Eminem is a rapper (as you may know) and the movie is about his life, which was pretty rough. Eventually, he’s making his way up in the rap scene where he lives. They have these rap-offs (not the right term, I’m sure) where they compete, demonstrating their skills but also tearing each other down. We’re at the end of the movie: it’s the big one and he’s up against this really good rapper and Eminem is worried about what this guy is going to say about him because he’s got all kinds of things he’s been hiding. When it comes time, Eminem goes first. And do you know what he does? He just says it all out. He raps about all of the shit in his life and totally owns that that is who he is. It was incredible. I can feel it right now—power and freedom and strength. The other guy didn’t have anything to rap about!

It’s such a great satya story. It takes courage to tell the truth, but it’s the only way to really be free (not to sound too cheeseball).