True Nature

So, the next sutra (1.3) is tada drashtuh svarupe avasthanam and translates as “Then the seer abides in his own true nature.” “Then” is referring to the last sutra—when the mind fluctuations are restrained or directed, then we are able to experience our true nature. As I started to reflect on this sutra, I was also getting ready to go on a 10-day Vedic chant immersion. I was predicting that this would be a good opportunity to have some moments of experiencing my true nature. These moments weren’t really as transcendent and enlightened as I might have liked, but that’s not really how I roll (thus the name of the blog, “Keepin’ It Real.”)

I left my house at around 4:20am on a Friday to travel to Santa Fe, so by the time I went to bed at something like 9pm, I was very tired. But then I didn’t really fall asleep. What I noticed was how completely content I was lying there most of the night. My body was happy to be lying down and my mind was quiet. I was feeling very restful and easeful even though I was quite awake. Of course, at some point, there was a thought, “I am so peaceful right now,” which was enough to take me out of the experience and turn it into something. Then I wasn’t feeling as true naturish.

I have heard many times “Peace (or love, joy, compassion, etc.) is what is there when you aren’t doing something else.” I think that’s what this sutra is about. That peace is always there, we are just distracted by all of the activity of our minds and our lives that we don’t feel it.

As the chant training went on, I continued to be very tired every night. There are lots of times that I am tired, but I do more stuff anyway—check email, work, read, watch tv—all of which further stimulate me. But last week, I mostly just went to bed (maybe knitting a few rows first). This also seems connected to this sutra—the lack of compulsion toward more activity, the ability to just be okay with stillness (i.e., not following the following the chittavrttis and letting them make more). There is some part of me that doesn’t need to be doing or accomplishing anything. I think sometimes the mistake we spiritual types make is thinking that the aim then is not to do anything, to get to some quiet place where I am just sitting there all the time. It seems to me that when we are first getting to know this true nature part of ourselves, less activity is helpful, but that eventually, we can be connected to that part even while we are going about the business of life. And, in fact, we are here to live life, not to side-step it. The question is:  how do we participate fully in life and maintain some sense that we are something beyond the actions, thoughts and outcomes? How do we let our lives be directed by our true nature instead of having our lives be a process only of conditioned mind?

(find out more about me and what I do at www.seattlesomatictherapy.com)